Wait. Maybe before we can recognize it’s missing, we have to understand what it is (or, was). Civility comes from the Latin word “civis” which means “citizen”. The dictionary defines it as “courtesy or politeness”, “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech”. If you Google an example of civility, you get this:
“When you don’t like someone very much but you manage to treat him politely, greeting him and behaving in a socially acceptable way.” (From Your Dictionary).
Here are some antonyms of civility:
discourtesy
rudeness
disrespect
insolence
bad manners
Do these look familiar? Turn on a news “show” and you will be bombarded with examples. The host interviews a guest, but before long both parties are talking over each other and (since they obviously believe they each have a handle on the truth) are fighting to make their case known. If you’ve ever had someone talk over you, you know how frustrating that can be. You may try to be “civil” but before you know it, your blood is boiling, the hair on the back of your neck is standing up and you feel like a cougar, ready to pounce. It makes animals of us all.
Back in the day (!!!), people used to hold the door for someone rather than blissfully walking along and letting it slam in someone’s face. People would greet one another with a smile or a handshake, a tip of the hat (which, by the way, was never worn inside). No one ever said, “What?” or “Huh?”, but “Pardon me?” And, name calling was something kids did – not adults!
Out of curiosity, I watched a few minutes of a Presidential debate this year. It was anything but Presidential. And, it certainly wasn’t civil. Turning it off after ten minutes out of utter disgust, I was grateful not to be raising kids today. If I were, I would have had to sit them down and tell them NEVER to conduct themselves in such a deplorable manner.
There are still some courteous people around. Some even go out of their way to do nice things for others. We don’t hear much about them because the news must be salacious or grisly or dirty in order for it to be “Breaking News”. When we had only newspapers, it seemed easier to pick and choose what we wanted to read and the personalities of individuals weren’t so “in your face”.
So, how do we save this and future generations from reverting to the cave man days (my apologies to the cave man)? Our first weapon is prayer, followed by talking with them and most importantly, modeling the appropriate behavior. Children imitate what they see. Hopefully, pointing out the bad and living out the good will be enough.
“Show proper respect to everyone.” (1 Peter 2:17)
Thx Teri. Good advice for today and every day. So much enjoy hearing words of wisdom from you in these weekly blogs. Miss seeing you though.
If your instilled with manners young, they will carry through even in my senior years
Yes to prayer, especially when feeling cougar-like!! Thank you Teri for the reminder of what civility might look like.
Ain’t that the truth! Thanks for the reminder
Thank You Teri. Is there any way you can get this message to this generation???
Doubtful that they would listen. I guess the only answer is prayer. I have done more
than my share recently. Had a few family conflicts and it can tear you apart.
Going to Kingman for thanksgiving and then on to Sheri’s. Now that my son and wife
are in Cornville (10 acres of beautiful views), I am on my own. Doubt that I will head
up north. I hate the cold. Thank you again for this blog. So timely!!!
Someone said “Manners are defined not as a set of rules, but as an attitude of the heart that is self-giving not self-serving. I like that.