One day Big Sister got into some trouble. Apparently, she misbehaved and was reprimanded. She was sent to the corner and told to face the wall and contemplate her choices. That can be a depressing and lonely spot. But, it wasn’t long before Little Sister came to join her. She couldn’t bail Big Sister out, but she could at least keep her company. There wasn’t much to say, but there was no need. Just her presence brought empathy and caring.
Joseph Bayly, in his book “The Last Thing We Talk About”, tells about losing not one, not two, but three sons over time and the various ways people offer comfort and support. Here’s how he put it:
“I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish he’d go away. Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour and more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.”
Offering comfort in any situation is tough. What can I do? What can I say? More often than not, you can’t change the situation. Little Sister couldn’t offer an escape route. But, she could be company.
What kind of friend are you? Willing to be inconvenienced, when a need comes up? Praying for someone when they ask you to do so, or coming alongside and crying with them, when they feel pain? We haven’t experienced everything someone else is going through, (and, it may or may not be a death), but does that excuse us from offering a shoulder to cry on or a hug or a phone call just to check in? This is only scratching the surface of possibilities. The point is: are you available, and do you care enough to offer yourself?
Jesus is our ever-present Friend. But, He may want to use us as His hands and feet. Remember: sometimes words aren’t needed…
What kind of friend are you?
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in affliction…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Thinking of serving through Hospice, just being there for someone!
In one of our most difficult storms people from church offered to come up to the hospital for visits. We wished they wouldn’t. We didn’t have words to speak, small talk wasn’t desired and we didn’t want to be “cheered up.” Then a church member arrived solo and prayed on our behalf quoting from Romans 8:26. I know she was sent by God that day. She didn’t even sit next to us for much of the time, just waited for a surgery update from across the room. But, she was there to catch us if we fell.
I’m consistently impressed that Emmerson shows her sister empathy. Even right after Elli has been mean to her. Unconditional love, it’s been pleasure to watch. I look forward to encouraging that behavior for the rest of their lives. They are teaching me as much as I am teaching them.
I want to be the friend who is at the other end of the teeter totter, helping you to stay up.
I don’t know how many of your blogs I have missed because I so enjoy them,
but I have a need to reply. I read Marilin’s reply and I thought how much I
hope I can be he a friend who is at the other end of the teeter totter. She has such a way with words. Talked with a friend this morning for just over 1 1/2 hrs. As a rule, I don’t like long phone conversations. I have been gone for10+ days and just got home. We had much to talk about and i thought I
‘was so glad to listen and share, I felt we were at other ends of the teeter-totter. Thank you Marilin Thank you Teri.
What precious moments! Observation of children can be great learning experience. Thanks for the message – truer words have not been spoken.
What a comfort His presence brings!
Recalling the care people have shown me is a powerful example to be there for others.