Return to Sender

In 1962 the singer Elvis Presley released a song by this title which told the story of a “lovers’ spat” in which he wrote to apologize but the letter was not received and was sent back instead.  Perhaps some of you have experienced something similar in a relationship – only there was no “spat” and you were (or, are) confused about the whole thing.  I have found this to be more common in families than I ever imagined.  It has been my experience (on some level) not once, not twice, but three times and all I can say is, “I feel your pain.”

This came to mind recently as I ran into another notebook of prayers I had written during one of the seemingly unending episodes. The pain I wrote about was raw and the confusion as to its origin was real.  In each case, there had been no argument.  There was nothing for which to apologize, though I racked my brain  in an attempt to put my finger on something.  After all, none of us is perfect.  Is there something, I wondered, anything?

Efforts at communication were made – and rebuffed.  Letters, returned.  Phone calls ignored or intercepted.  Sometimes other loved ones may be involved and your heart is broken, both for yourself and for others.

The situation may be on-going, or when it suddenly ends and the person returns, it’s as if nothing happened and you’re left relieved, but somewhat shell-shocked for awhile, left with unanswered questions you may be afraid to even ask.  The catalyst may be a spouse of your loved one who has issues with control or jealousy and therefore, feels the need to force a break in a perceived threatening relationship.  On the other hand, maybe it’s simply “growing pains” on the part of a young adult.  Perhaps we’ll never know.

In the midst of it, we ask ourselves all sorts of questions:  “Is there something I could have or should have done differently?”    “Aren’t I good (kind, caring, loving, etc) enough?”   “Why is this happening?”   “What have I done to deserve this?”  Then, you may move on to the other side of the coin:   “Is she ok?”    “Is he involved in things he shouldn’t be?”    “Is he/she over-stressed?”

All sorts of things run through your mind.  And, maybe – like – me, you pray.  But, the hurt and confusion remain.

When Jesus came to earth – lived, taught, healed, blessed – and was rejected, did He say, “That’s it!  I’m outa here!”  No.  He went ahead with what the Father had planned for Him to do.  I, too, have been rejected – by one I love.  So, do I shrivel up and say,”That’s it!”  No.  God can use it and make me more like Him.

Has someone rejected you?  They rejected Him, too, so you’re in good company.  The situation may not end as fast as you’d like, but hang in there.  God is working.

“He was despised and rejected by men…”     (Isaiah 53:3)