The other day at lunch a friend blindsided me when she proclaimed out of the blue, “I think I have forgiven myself…” “For what?” I inquired. The answer came in a rather forlorn tone, “My last two husbands.” Ah. I certainly hadn’t expected that!
An elderly man I once knew kicked himself for years for “selling the farms.” He had owned several thousand acres of farmland in the Northwest, but had others who leased the land and actually farmed it. So, after awhile he sold the land he never had farmed himself and was too busy to even monitor. Yet, to his dying day, he regretted that decision.
How many of us are doing the same thing? Using up valuable time beating ourselves up for something we can’t change? Someone once said, “You can’t unscramble eggs.” How true! Then, why do we spend so much time acting like or wishing we could?
We wring our hands and replay the tape over and over until we’re like a dog that’s been kicked too many times. We wander around with our tail between our legs and our lower lip hanging almost to the ground. Boy, aren’t we a lot of fun! Betcha people just can’t wait to hang out with us. Parties are fun and most people want to be included, but who wants to be invited to a Pity Party? Have you ever noticed it’s like a black hole that seems impossible to crawl out of? Feel sorry for yourself, over what a jerk you are and pretty soon, you believe it. (Can you tell I’ve “been there”?)
Jesus talks a lot about forgiveness. It is why He came, after all. We’re told to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Paul wrote in Colossians 3:13 “bearing with one another and forgiving each other…” Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than it is to forgive self. After all, it’s kind of hard to get away from “self”. I’m always hanging around myself! But, what about forgiving “self”? Sure. You and I aren’t perfect. Who is (besides Jesus)? But, certainly if the Eternal Creator and Everlasting God can forgive me, who am I not to do so?
So, if we’re going to have a party, why not have a real one? One that celebrates life and makes the most of every day we’re given. I can’t change the past. But, hopefully, I can learn from it as I enjoy the present and look forward to the future. How about you?
“…just as the Lord forgave, so also should you.” (Colossians 3:13b)
Thx Teri. Very real advice for myself. Hard to do but needed!
Thank you Teri. Each week you “hit the nail on the head” and remind us of things/thoughts we need to remember.
One thing about a Pity Party is that no one wants to come. I had a girlfriend who lived in Pity Party Heaven. Pretty soon, no one wanted to hang out with her anymore. Pity people bring other people down with them. Many times they are really just seeking attention. But other times they just can’t forgive themselves for something done or said. Poor ole me. Someone needs an attitude adjustment, and the place to go for one is the scriptures. Forgiving ourselves is not easy. But it’s a first step toward healing. Forgive yourself, then celebrate that God forgives you also. That’s reason for a party!
Good reminder. We can’t deny God’s attitude to forgive us – we’d be calling God a liar! However, I find the enemy of my soul loves to taunt me with ancient history. Get behind me Satan!!!