If I’m not mistaken, there was a movie entitled Men Leave that came out a few years back. However, even before that my husband spoke those very words to me when we were in the thick of raising our three sons. I grew up in a household where my dad was surrounded by women: my mom, my sister and me. He wasn’t a super athlete and could best be described as an occasional sports fan. Maybe having girls worked best for him. Our family was close and remained close even when we lived far apart.
Even though a relationship between a mother and daughter can, at times, be described as “difficult”, it seems more often than not, that girls stay pretty tight with their moms. A mom knows how her daughter runs her household, how she cooks, cleans, does laundry. A mother-in-law, on the other hand, is totally clueless. Some mothers-in-law can be brutish and bull their way in, attempting to “fix” everything by doing it their way, which of course, must be better since she is so much more experienced! This explains the eye rolling and all the mother-in-law jokes that abound.
How does the saying go? “A son is a son till he finds a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life.” Yes, I discovered the reality that “men leave”. All three of ours not only left home – they left the state. (Guess they couldn’t take the heat. Haha). With respect to this, however, I was also told that the report card doesn’t come in until they have left home. This has also proven to be true. As we raise our children, we are constantly confronted with new issues, questions and problems. Not every child is alike, certainly, so – try as you might to treat them equally – each situation may demand its own varied response. Wondering if you’re doing the right thing can keep you up at night which is not something you can afford because each day is too demanding and too busy for missed sleep.
So, in the midst of the whirlwind called child-rearing, we do the best we can. We try to model the proper behavior and attitudes, provide a loving environment with the proper mix of discipline and room to grow. And, we pray a LOT, trusting God to fill in the gaps and be with them when we can’t. Yes, as parents and grandparents: do your best…and, pray!
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Do I dare to forward this to my daughters-in-law?! (How do they view me? Did I learn anything as a step-mother of 50+ years?)
It’s the praying part that is so important. And we should pray before we “do.” God will help us do our best. When God chose us to be mothers, it was for our lifetime, not just until they grew up. There’s no stopping the “training them up….”. We can take off the training wheels, but they still fall down. May God lift them up to be the persons He wants them to be. And may He use us to help give them balance.
Mother-in-law? Maybe I resemble that comment! It’s true, prayerfully we do our best and trust God with the rest!
i pray for my children, grandkids and great grandkids daily. My mother in law was really sweet and helpful Liked what you said.
Watching your kids grow and become such amazing adults( husband, wife and parent) is a wonderful blessing. It makes your heart skip a beat each time you hear them talk about having such a great childhood. We might not be around all the time once they have left home, but deep down God comforts us that we will always be in their hearts!